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    What if Doctor Who Wasn't Axed?

    Crime of the Century (serial)

    The following article is written from an Out of Universe perspective.

    Crime of the Century was the third story of Season 27 of Doctor Who. It was written by Andrew Cartmel and directed by Alan Wareing and features Sylvester McCoy as the Doctor and Julia Sawalha as Katie Tollinger.

    This story is notable for introducing Katie Tollinger played by Julia Sawalha as the new companion. It also saw the return of the Metatraxi.

     Synopsis

    The year is 1990. In London, safe cracker Katie Tollinger breaks into a house — and finds more than the family jewels.

    In the Middle East, the kingdom of Sayf Udeen is being terrorised by Soviet invaders and alien monsters.

    And on the Scottish border, a highly guarded facility contains an advanced alien weapon.

    These are all part of the Doctor's masterplan. But masterplans can go awry...

    Plot

    Part 1

    A young woman is walking down a street and towards a house, all the while we hear her inner thoughts. The woman knocks on the door and is invited in by a Waiter. It turns out there's a house party. The waiter decides to go get the woman a drink. The woman then quickly sneaks up the stairs and we learn that she's here to rob the owners of the house.

    The woman enters a bedroom and sees a painting of a horse with its back legs facing the wrong way. The woman begins to remove the painting just as the waiter comes in with her drink. The two drink before the woman removes the painting, revealing a wall safe. She tells the waiter that she's a safecracker but he thinks she's joking even as she begins to crack the safe's combination, explaining in great detail how everything works. After the waiter reveals that there are no maraschino cherries in the house but the woman reveals that she has a jar and she gives him one before continuing to work on the safe. The waiter asks where she learned this stuff from and she explains that a friend of her father's taught her. The waiter suddenly begins to feel woozy and it's revealed that the woman has drugged him with the maraschino cherry. He then faints. The woman finishes cracking the combination and opens the safe. However, she's shocked to find a little man inside the safe. The Doctor says that he's been expecting her and the woman wonders what he was doing in there. The Doctor says he had a few tricks up his sleeve but wants to have this conversation once he's out of the safe as he's stuck.

    The woman helps the Doctor out of the safe while scolding him for being foolish. The woman asks how the Doctor knew she would be here and he explains that he read her diary which she thinks is impossible as she hasn’t written in it yet. She then agrees with the Doctor's suggestion that they should leave. The Doctor tells her that the item she's seeking, (a black pearl necklace) is inside a metal box in the safe. The woman grabs the necklace and after the Doctor asks why she's not taking anything else, the woman reveals that she was hired by somebody to steal the pearls as she's a professional but refuses to tell the Doctor more. She then places the box back in the safe and closes the safe, explaining to the Doctor that nobody will notice the pearls are missing until Christmas Day as that's when the pearls come out in this part of town. She and the Doctor quickly place the painting back where it was and exit the room.

    The woman leads the Doctor towards the back door so that they can avoid any party guest, but the Doctor steps into the kitchen to look for some black pepper. He finds it and leads the woman out the back and down the garden path. An alarm suddenly goes off and the woman realises that somebody noticed the pearls were missing. She tells the Doctor that her car is just a few streets away and that they should get to it quickly. A party guest spots the woman and the Doctor. Someone orders the dogs to be sent out and the woman wants to run but the Doctor tells her to remain calm. He then hands her the black pepper and tells her to throw it at the two approaching German Shepards. The woman throws it and the dogs runoff. The waiter approaches and orders them to stop but the Doctor and the woman run out of the garden and down the street. The woman tells the Doctor that she'll go and get the car and be back in a minute. After a few moments, the sound of a car speeding off is heard which the Doctor thinks is uncivilised and not something she mentioned in her diary. He then decides to continue walking and whistling.

    The next night the woman is standing on a quiet country road, impatiently waiting for somebody. She then pulls out a sword when the Doctor suddenly appears and tells her to put it down. The woman who the Doctor addresses as Katie is seemingly mesmerised by the sword and initially doesn’t want to put it down, but after some persuasion from the Doctor, she puts it down. She apologises for abandoning the Doctor the previous night and it's revealed that he is in fact the one she was meant to meet up with and the one who hired her to steal all the items she has stolen so that he can return them to their rightful owner. Katie says that she'll be sorry to let go of the pearls as she remembers her mum had pearls just like them. She asks the Doctor about the sword not being human technology to which he responds that it's martian technology. Katie pulls out a device that's beeping and the Doctor explains that it's a transponder. Suddenly a man appears from behind and states that he's come to sort things out. He then aims a gun at the Doctor and Katie and orders them to put their hands up. The man states that he wants them to give him the sword and everything else that Katie stole. Katie is in disbelief that he'd want everything else and the man replies that he feels entitled to everything and tells both her and the Doctor to make themselves scarce. Katie refuses to hand anything over, explaining that she's worked too hard for it. Katie then attacks the man with the sword, paralysing him. She gets a bit carried away and the man begs the Doctor to make her stop, but he says he doesn’t think he can. The man asks nicely and the Doctor gets Katie to stop, causing him to run off. The Doctor asks Katie to put the sword down which she does a little reluctantly. A figure suddenly approaches and asks if the Doctor is up to his old tricks. It's revealed to be Markus Tollinger who is shocked to see Katie. It's revealed that Katie is Markus's daughter

    Both Katie and Markus are surprised to see each other. Markus informs Katie that the man she's with is the Doctor who he always told her about. The Doctor reveals that he wants help from both of them. Katie agrees to help the Doctor but wants nothing to do with Markus. Markus tries reasoning with her but Katie doesn’t want to listen. She reveals that Markus cheated on Raina multiple times and never tried to hide it. The Doctor tells Katie that they have to work as a team and put aside personal differences. Katie doesn’t want to and reveals that she was always caught in the middle, Raina died some time ago and that she wants to stay as far away from Markus as possible. She asks the Doctor what Markus is doing here anyway. The Doctor reiterates that they need to work together and reveals that all the stuff he got Katie to steal over the past few months belongs to Markus. When Katie asks why the Doctor responds that it's because it's his stuff. Markus thanks the Doctor but points out that one item, a jewelled egg is missing and that it was initially taken by the Government. The Doctor knows this but has a different plan for retrieving that item. Markus thanks the Doctor again. The Doctor says that he still needs Markus's help but is keeping the sword which he puts away. Markus reveals that he's been in debt for a long while so was forced to sell the items. He agrees to help the Doctor but Katie refuses. Markus decides to leave but allows Katie to keep the pearls as they belonged to her mother. After a few moments, Katie starts crying and she and Markus hug.

    A bit later, the Doctor, Katie and Markus are wandering through an abandoned dock that fell into disrepair and ruin due to the financial meltdown. Markus promises that this area will one day be reinvented and will make a lot of money. A group of Doberman suddenly start barking in the distance, but they seem to get further away. Markus reveals that his men will have led them and the security guards away, which is what the Doctor wanted. The group then come to a wired fence which the Doctor says is alarmed and electrified. Katie gives Markus some wire cutters which he uses on the fence while she redirects the alarm system. The group then head through the fence and towards a large building. Markus asks why the Doctor has brought them here and the Doctor explains that this site is an exact replica of an RAF base on the Scottish border. The Doctor believes that this site is being used for unfriendly purposes. It turns out that the Doctor brought them here to get a good idea of the structure of the base in Northern Scotland which Katie realises they'll be going to in order to break into it. Markus is worried as they'll likely have to worry about more than armed Guards and Doberman with the Doctor revealing that they'll be dealing with killer robots that they'll have to destroy them, which makes Markus uneasy. The Doctor then reveals that they'll have to in order to access the inner sanctum where the vault is, as he wants Katie to break into it. The Doctor then tells Katie that their next stop is Kafirstan, which Katie thinks he's joking about, but then realises that he's serious.

    Part 2

    A few days have passed. The Doctor and Katie are standing in the dining area of a large palace. Katie has gotten over her jet-lag and asks the Doctor where the prince is. The Doctor explains that the prince practises sword fighting every morning. They head into dojo and we see the prince, named Sayf Udeen sparring with his servant, Parvez wielding a sword. Katie asks if he's married and the Doctor replies that he has seven wives. Sayf Udeen wins his swordfight and goes over to speak with the Doctor and Katie. The Doctor tells him that he was explaining to Katie about his experiences as an Olympian fencer. Sayf Udeen explains that he gave that life up in order to return home and drive out the invaders. The Doctor explains that Sayf Udeen is one of the greatest swordsmen in the world and that it is he who shall receive the blade. The Doctor shows Sayf the sword that he got Katie to steal, and he approves of it. Sayf asks what he can do in return and the Doctor explains that there are a few things.

    Not long after, the Doctor, Katie and Sayf are sitting in the dining area, drinking tea. Sayf reveals that his country is at war with Russia and that despite the Doctor's belief that they're having great success, they're not. He then goes on to explain that over the past two months, his warriors have faced setbacks and many have been wiped out. He even says that many have talked of so-called 'Demons' roaming the mountains. The Doctor thinks he might have a way to deal with the problem, but before he can divulge any details Parvez arrives and calls Sayf away on an urgent matter. Sayf tells the Doctor that his plan will have to wait and he leaves. Katie doesn’t initially believe him, but the Doctor states that he likely was called away. He points out that the room has no windows and that one must be concealed behind a nearby bookshelf. He and Katie move the bookshelf and find a window looking out on to the courtyard.

    The two peer through the window and notice a large jeep parked in the courtyard that bears the insignia of the Soviet army. Sayf walks towards the jeep and we see Colonel Felnikov hop out and shake hands with Sayf much to Katie's confusion. The Doctor points out that Sayf may be a warrior prince, but he's also a businessman. Katie realises that he's in business with the Russians, but the Doctor says that he seems to only be in business with Felnikov.

    A bit later the Doctor and Katie are in a helicopter. Katie worries that the walls may have ears and the Doctor tells her that he's been to places where the walls actually have ears. Katie believes him and asks him not to stop, saying that she loves listening to his stories and that some of her earliest memories are of her parents talking about him. The Doctor asks if the stories gave her any nightmares, but Katie says they didn't. The Doctor explains that despite him helping people, he does have a habit of putting those he cares about into danger, revealing to Katie that she falls into that category. Sayf informs the two that they'll be landing soon before pointing out a settlement which he says is where he'll show the Doctor and Katie the evidence.

    The Doctor follows Sayf and Parvez up some stairs and on to the rooftop where he states most of the fighting took place, to which the Doctor remarks that it's an unusual place for a pitched battle with Sayf revealing that it's where most of his men took refuge, believing it to be a good vantage point until last night, explaining that they were trapped when the enemy came up the stairs after them. Parvez says that the men fought bravely. Sayf explains that the rooftop would've been good for taking out the enemy, but the "Devils" were too powerful. Sayf then shows them the place where his men fell, explaining that only a few survived, but those that did were scared and confused and could only agree on the strange cry the "Demons" unleashed, which the Doctor compares to a war cry. Sayf says that he'd like to use his sword on these creatures and the Doctor promises that it can be arranged. The Doctor then asks if the warriors used swords. Sayf explains that they did, but they were swiftly defeated. The Doctor asks if the creatures used any guns, Sayf says that strangely they didn't which the Doctor finds strange. The Doctor starts looking for bullet holes. The Doctor finds a stray, but strange-looking bullet which he quickly realises isn't from Earth.

    Katie is standing in a field with a few goats when the Doctor, Sayf Udeen and Parvez arrive. Sayf apologises for leaving Katie behind. A jeep then arrives and Sayf explains that it will take them back to the palace, when Katie asks why they're not taking the helicopter, Sayf explains that he needs the helicopter to take him to a remote and isolated valley and hopes that they don't mind being left to their own devices. The Doctor says that he doesn’t mind. Sayf then leaves and the Doctor tells Katie that she'll soon get the chance to show how good she is at flying a helicopter. Katie is confused, the Doctor explains that Sayf has enough helicopters that they won't mind if one goes missing. Katie asks where they'll go and the Doctor says that they're going to a remote and isolated valley. The two then leave in the jeep.

    Sayf arrives at the valley where he finds Felnikov who has invited him here under mysterious circumstances. Sayf sees that the valley is littered with the bodies of several of Felnikov's men and destroyed vehicles. Sayf believes that they should unite to destroy the 'Demons' since they're attacking both sides, but believes Felnikov is here for a different purpose. Felnikov shows Sayf one of the destroyed vehicles and asks Felnikov if he knows of such a weapon that could cause so much damage, adding that if he does, he'd like to have it. Sayf firmly states that even if he owned such a weapon he wouldn’t let Felnikov use it, fearing that he may team up with the 'demons' Felnikov suggests selling it on the world market, but Sayf refuses. The two suddenly lookup as one of Sayf's helicopters approaches.

    The Doctor notes that Sayf looks surprised to see them and Katie is shocked that Sayf appears to be making a deal with Felnikov. The Doctor explains that Sayf likely wants weapons from Felnikov to help fight off the other invaders. Katie then begins to land, jokingly promising to land on Felnikov.

    Sayf tells Felnikov that the visitor he told him about and his friend are the ones in the helicopter. Felnikov is surprised at how trusting Sayf is, but Sayf explains that the Doctor's visit was foretold, explaining that it was a story passed down through his family that the Doctor's arrival was expected and to help him when he did arrive. He then reveals to Felnikov that the man is the Doctor, much to Felnikov's shock. The Doctor greets Felnikov who is surprised to see him and that he hasn’t aged a bit. The Doctor gives Sayf the sword and implies that he himself built it when Felnikov questions him about it. The group observes the recent carnage, Katie at first believes that shells and land-mines caused this, but then notices that there are no scorch marks. Sayf explains to Katie that he and the Doctor discovered that these creatures used the same weapons his men were using when they were killed. The Doctor states that whatever did this has used advanced alien technology, like an energy weapon. The group then notices a column of smoke rising up in the distance and the Doctor and Sayf decide to investigate. Felnikov wants to continue with their deal but Sayf tells him that he can wait at the palace and that Katie will take him there. Katie takes Felnikov aside and says that she knows a way that they can both make a bit of money.

    The Doctor and Sayf enter a large clearing. Several creatures are sat around a campfire. A horrified expression grows on the Doctor's face as he realises what they're dealing with. The creatures stand up and turn around, revealing themselves to be Metatraxi holding human assault rifles. They aim their weapons at the Doctor and Sayf and prepare to fire.

    Part 3

    The Metatraxi open fire, the Doctor quickly dives behind a nearby rock, but Sayf Udeen is struck and killed. A Russian soldier suddenly charges out of a nearby cave and fires on the Metatraxi, allowing the Doctor to run over to the sword, grab it and dash over to the cave area. The man follows him inside.

    Inside the cave, the man introduces himself as Nikitin and explains that he and another man named Valentin are the only survivors of an attack by the Metatraxi. Valentin is deeply shaken and can only mutter 'Nasekomoye' the Russian word for insect. The Doctor decides to give Nikitin the sword, telling him that he may need to defend himself. The two turn around slowly and see the Metatraxi standing in front of them. The Metatraxi leader orders them to move and the two walk out of the cave.

    The Doctor asks the Metatraxi leader if their translation device is working properly and asks what model it is. The Metatraxi leader answers that it's Bollyclot, the Doctor claims that there was a recall notice due to the device being faulty and that it's one of the most primitive devices in the galaxy, much to the leaders outrage. Nikitin warns him to be careful, but he replies that he'll be fine offers to upgrade it. The Metatraxi leader agrees and so the Doctor starts tinkering with the device. The Doctor finishes altering the settings, but accidentally tunes it into Dolphin, so he corrects it. Initially the Metatraxi have posh British accents but after the Doctor adjusts it again, they end up talking like surfers.

    The Doctor states that he wants an end to the conflict and challenges the Metatraxi leader to single combat. The leader agrees and asks who the champion is, the Doctor reveals Nikitin as his champion. Nikitin shows of the sword and promises to avenge his fallen comrades. The Metatraxi leader picks up a sword and the two dual. The Metatraxi leader soon appears to get the upper hand after knocking the sword from his hand, but it simply flies back to Nikitin who quickly defeats the Metatraxi leader, much to his irritation.

    The Doctor declares Nikitin the winner. The Metatraxi leader begrudgingly accepts defeat and the Doctor orders him and the rest of the Metatraxi to leave Earth. The leader agrees, but on the condition that the Doctor fixes their translators, which the Doctor agrees to. After doing some adjustments the Metatraxi voices return to normal. The Metatraxi leader agrees to leave, but is annoyed that they couldn’t finish the conflict they were contracted to fight in. The Doctor asks what they mean but the leader refuses to tell him. He and the other Metatraxi then depart.

    Nikitin is amazed that he was able to defeat the Metatraxi leader and thanks the Doctor for helping to defeat the Metatraxi. The Doctor asks for the sword back but Nikitin wishes to keep it and begins to be overwhelmed by the voices. The Doctor manages to get it away from him, much to Nikitin's relief. The Doctor walks over to Sayf's body and laments that he should've had the honour of defeating the Metatraxi. The Doctor and Nikitin look up at the sound of a helicopter and we see one approaching before landing.

    Over at the palace, Felnikov and the Metatraxi leader are eating and drinking together. It's revealed that the Doctor didn’t actually fix the translator, causing it to switch between the normal Metatraxi voice and that of a surfer. The leader asks Felnikov what he knows of the Doctor, Felnikov answers by saying that he's a time traveler. The leader asks what his objective is and Felnikov says that he believes the Doctor to be a do-gooder, a concept the Metatraxi find hard to understand. The Metatraxi leader wonders if the Doctor follows the code of war or seeks prophet like Felnikov, something the latter finds ironic since the Metatraxi seek objects rare on their home planet. It's then revealed that Felnikov is the one who contracted the Metatraxi to start the conflict and that the whole war with the Russians was set up. However Felnikov is unhappy as the Metatraxi weren’t supposed to attack Russia's armed forces. The leader defends this by revealing a bonus clause, allowing the Metatraxi to attack Felnikov's men. Felnikov is furious, particularly at the idea of the Metatraxi only getting involved in other wars because they love to fight wars. Felnikov tells the leader that he doesn’t like the new voice, but that he won't have to put up with it for long as he has to leave to perform one final task. The Metatraxi leader is horrified at the idea of leaving before a conflict has finished but Felnikov states that he would be held responsible for the Metatraxi's actions. He then says that he needs the Metatraxi for this final task.

    Over at a building in England a Government Minister is enjoying a nice meal. The Doctor suddenly enters the room and it's revealed that he and the man know each other. The man is surprised to learn that the Doctor is alone and that he signed himself in. The man asks what he wants and the Doctor says that he wants the jewelled egg they took from Markus destroyed. The man reveals that some of his scientists became interested in some of Markus's things and took the jewelled egg, the Doctor demands to know where it is. The man claims not to know but the Doctor states that the British Government used the conflict in Kafiristan as a testing ground for the weapon. The man refuses to hand it over, revealing that the weapon is stored in a secure facility at an undisclosed location. After learning that the man won't change his mind the Doctor decides to leave, but before he does the man reveals that the facility is heavily guarded and that the Doctor or anybody else would be foolish trying to break in.

    Over in Scotland, a truck parks near the secure facility. Felnikov and Katie get out and Katie points out the facility. Felnikov is pleased to have made Katie's acquaintance but Katie says she's only in on this for the money. Katie goes on to reveal that she and Felnikov plan to sell the item and then splot the proceeds 50/50. Felnikov understands and then asks if Katie is quite sure the Doctor knows nothing about this to which she claims that she doesn’t and that he doesn’t even know that she knew all along where the facility was as she overheard him talking about it. Felnikov hopes that there'll be some financial gain from this. It's quickly revealed that the Metatraxi are reluctantly helping them as they don't enjoy the idea of fighting robots. Felnikov asks if they'll stick to their agreement of leaving Earth alone once the job is done and they say they will, calling the inevitable fight with robots a bonus.

    As the group walk through the facility Katie and Felnikov are confused as to why they have encountered no resistance. The Metatraxi leader comments that Katie would make a fine warrior. Katie notices the railings on the celling and suggests that Felnikov take his gun out and get ready for anything. The security robots finally reveal themselves and it's revealed that they're shaped like miniature bullet trains and move along the railings. Katie asks the Metatraxi to help but the leader wants to wait until they start shooting. The robots start shooting, causing Katie and Felnikov to dive for cover while the Metatraxi battle them. More robots soon show up. The Metatraxi soon destroy the robots but are disappointed that they weren’t on legs.

    Katie leads the rest of the group over to the vault. Felnikov tells the Metatraxi that their contract is up and the Metatraxi agree to leave Earth. They quickly depart. Felnikov tells Katie to open the vault but Katie asks if he wants to say hello first. Felnikov is confused, but then the Doctor's voice calls out to him, he turns around and sees both the Doctor and Markus standing just a few feet behind him. Felnikov wonders what they're doing here and Katie reveals that when she said the Doctor knew nothing of the facility she was lying. Markus pulls out the sword and demands that Felnikov hand over his gun. Felnikov reluctantly hands his gun over and Katie runs over to join the Doctor, revealing that Markus is her dad. Markus gives Katie the sword. Felnikov is shocked that Markus is Katie's dad and Markus reveals that he's doing one last job for the Doctor, that job being escorting Felnikov out of the country. Markus reveals that he's being deported to South America and explains to Katie that he learned from the Doctor that Felnikov was in charge of a counter-intelligence operation known as Project Cloudburst. The project's aim was to attack the West by destabilising the economy, so Felnikov orchestrated a recession which caused him to be booted back into the army due to many of his former allies having investments in the West. Felnikov claims that it was an act of war but Markus disagrees. He then says goodbye to the Doctor and Katie while escorting Felnikov out of the facility. He also promises the Doctor that Felnikov will reach his destination safely.

    Katie asks the Doctor if Felnikov will be punished and the Doctor states that it's very likely. The Doctor then asks Katie to open the vault. Katie then cracks the lock and the door swings open.

    The two enter and are soon met by another robot guard, this time it's humanoid and is carrying a gun. The two dive for cover as it opens fire. Katie manages to quickly destroy the robot by creeping up behind it and decapitating it with the sword, the robot crumples to the floor. The Doctor bends down and decides to take note of the manufacturer. The robot has a label on it reading ‘Margrave University - Cybernetics lab. The Doctor remarks that he ought to pay that place a visit. The Doctor then sees the egg and picks it up. Katie says that she remembers seeing that egg in her father's collection when she was a little girl but that he would never let her touch it, which the Doctor says is just as well. He then reveals that he's taking the weapon out of circulation permanently. The Doctor places the egg on the ground and asks Katie to destroy it with the sword. Katie destroys the egg but it does nothing. The Doctor then decides to use the manufacturer recall device on the egg, once done he reveals that it will cause an explosion. Katie suggests that they run and the Doctor agrees. Katie throws the sword to the floor and the two run out of the vault and soon exit the facility.

    The Doctor and Katie watch from a distance as the facility explodes. The Police and the fire department soon arrive along with The Minister. The Minister tells the Doctor that he heard reports of an illegal facility, but the Doctor tells him that he's dealt with it. The Minister asks about the object and the Doctor reveals that it's destroyed. The Minister seems saddened by this and the Doctor tells Katie not to waste her sympathies on him. Katie asks what they should do now and the Doctor reveals that he wants to check out Margrave University. Katie says that she'll be going but the Doctor offers her the chance to come travel with him in the TARDIS much to Katie's surprise. The Doctor says that her skills could come in handy and that she could help do some good. Katie accepts and the two walk off, chatting happily.

    Cast

    Crew

    Memorable Quotes

    To be added.

    Background Information

    Production History

    To be added.

    Development

    • A working title for this story was Action at a Distance.
    • An early draft of this story featured drug smuggling, armed assaults and barely any sci-fi elements.
    • This early draft also contained a new locale, Sam's mansion. The Doctor and Katie would use it as a base and a place with a set of contacts from which they could draw upon.
    • This draft still used the early names Sam Tollinger and Kate Tollinger for Markus and Katie.
    • When Katie opened the safe and found the Doctor inside, he was intended to say 'What kept you?'
    • This draft featured Katie walking through the party on her way to the safe.

    Production

    To be added.

    Post-Production

    To be added.

    Reaction

    • Official BARB ratings: 5.2m for Part One, 5.1m for Part Two and 4.9m for Part Three.

    Story Notes

    Continuity

    Home Video Releases

    To be added.

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